19Dec/091
is this a good thesis statement for my term paper?
i was assigned to write a term paper on the controvercy concerning homosexuals being able to adopt...
i just wanted some opinions and maybe even some constructive criticism on my thesis... any sugesstions would help! thanks
"Despite the number of laws passed or the numerous amounts of the publics support on gay rights, the negative implications associated with same-sex parent adoption continues to affect both attitudes and laws for the worse. Society is still loaded with bias opinions against homosexual adoption, which severely limits their rights as people much less potential parents."
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December 19th, 2009 - 09:13
It is much stronger if you lose the first part of the first sentance. Get rid of everything from “Despite. . . . .(all the way to). . . . . .gay rights,”
Start it with, “The negative implications” and it’s three times better.
Later, it should be biased opinions, not bias.
Finally, instead of “much less potential parents” it should be more of something like, “notwithstanding potential parents.”